How We Left Our Starter Home & Built Our Dream Life in the Country

There was nothing wrong with our starter home.

It did exactly what it was supposed to do. It gave us a place to land, a place to grow, and a place to begin building a life together. It was safe. Predictable. Comfortable.

But we always had the dream of living on land and building. From the moment we got married, that was a long-term goal of ours.

Never in a million years did we think it would happen in our thirties!

The Hard Truth About Outgrowing a “Good” Life

This part doesn’t get talked about enough.

It’s actually really hard to walk away from something that’s good enough.

Our starter home made sense financially.

It was practical.

It was what most people would probably stick with.

It had sentimental value to us — it's where we were when we first got married. We brought our first baby into this home.

But we had to ask ourselves a tough question:

Are we building a life based on what makes sense… or what we actually want?

That question changed everything...

Deciding to Go All In

Once we seriously considered building in the country, reality hit fast.

This wasn’t a small decision. It meant:

• Selling a home that felt safe

• Taking on a much bigger project (and risk)

• Navigating land, construction, timelines, and budget

• Letting go of convenience for something more intentional

• Finding somewhere to live once we sold our home

There were a lot of unknowns—and honestly, a lot of moments where we thought, “Are we crazy for doing this????”

But we also knew...

If we didn’t try, we’d always wonder.

How We Actually Made the Leap

One of the biggest questions we had was: “Okay… but how do we actually do this?”

Selling our home felt like the biggest hurdle.

And instead of going the traditional route, we decided to try something a little unconventional…

We listed our home on Facebook Marketplace.

No agent.

No big production.

Just us, iPhone photos, and a willingness to figure it out.

Honestly, we didn’t know what to expect.

But it worked.

We were able to connect directly with buyers, have real conversations, and ultimately sell our home ourselves—which gave us more control over the process and saved us a significant amount in fees.

Now here’s the part that really made everything possible…

We had the opportunity to move in with my parents while we figured out our next steps.

And I won’t sugarcoat it—moving back in with parents as adults is humbling. It’s not the picture most people have in mind when they think about “moving up.”

But for us, it was strategic.

It gave us:

• Time to find the right piece of land instead of rushing

• Financial breathing room while we built

• The flexibility to fully commit to the process without unnecessary pressure

We’re incredibly grateful we had the opportunity to do this. We know not everyone has the option to move in with family during a transition like this, and we don’t take it lightly. My parents were truly the best “roommates” we could’ve asked for!

That season wasn’t glamorous—but it was pivotal.

Looking back, it’s one of the smartest decisions we made. We saved upwards of $100,000 living with them (rent-free, because they are literal angels on Earth).

What People Don’t Tell You About Building

Building a home sounds exciting, and it is, but it’s also one of the most stretching things we’ve ever done.

There were moments of:

• Delays we couldn’t control

• Decisions we didn’t feel qualified to make

• Budget conversations that weren’t always fun

• Feeling like progress was way slower than expected

It tested our patience, our communication, and our expectations. And honestly made our marriage x10 stronger haha.

But it also did something really important:

It forced us to get crystal clear on what actually mattered to us.

Not Pinterest-perfect.

Not trendy.

Ours.

The Trade-Offs Were Real

Moving to the country wasn’t just a dreamy upgrade.

We traded:

• Convenience for space

• Proximity for privacy

• Quick access for quiet mornings

And you have to be honest about that part—because it’s not for everyone.

But for us?

The trade-offs were worth it.

What We Gained

This is the part that’s hard to fully put into words.

We didn’t just build a house.

We built a completely different lifestyle.

We gained:

• Space to breathe

• A slower, more intentional pace

• Room to grow (literally and figuratively)

• A home that actually reflects who we are

And maybe most importantly:

We proved to ourselves that we’re allowed to choose a different path.

What I’d Tell Anyone Thinking About Doing the Same

If you’re sitting in a home—or a life—that feels “fine”… but something in you is pulling for more, here’s what I’d say:

1. Pay attention to what keeps coming up.

   Those repeated thoughts aren’t random.

2. You don’t need to have it all figured out to start.

   We definitely didn’t.

3. There will never be a “perfect” time.

   Waiting for certainty usually just delays growth.

4. Be honest about the trade-offs.

   Every upgrade comes with a cost—just make sure it’s one you’re willing to pay.

5. It’s okay to want something different.

   Even if your current life looks good on paper.

Final Thoughts

Leaving our starter home wasn’t about running away from something.

It was about moving toward something.

Something that felt more aligned.

More intentional.

More like the life we actually wanted to build.

In the end, it just came down to this: we wanted a life that actually fit us, even if it meant doing things the harder way to get there.